Friday, April 30, 2010

Don’t get frustrated, feel relaxed


Most of us might have had such experiences in our daily life. Unexpectedly incidents occurs where one gets humiliated, offended and feel frustrated. There may not be any obvious reason. But you are bound to undergo such bad experiences each day. Things can happen anywhere at any time, while travelling, or while being at home or office, walking on the street or sitting in a restaurant, at a Wine shop or at a Paan shop. You are not even safe on a telephone line. I am sure you too might have experienced such things, especially if you are staying in Delhi. Of course I am talking about the people belonging to the ordinary class. I have no idea about the upper class life styles and their day to day experiences.
Any given day it could begin at your own home that too in the early morning. Suddenly you are woken up from a nice sleep. Your wife may be shouting at you from the kitchen accusing you of not taking interest in the household affairs. You failed to call in the Plumber to fix the leaking tap at the kitchen sink. That is another matter that, the plumber is available in the Society’s office from 10 in the morning till 6 in the evening, a period that you are supposed to be working in the office. But she cannot be blamed, for calling in the plumber is the job of a male, and being the head of the family and a male, it is purely your duty. Wives are peculiar, it is their unique behavior. Be it your wife, mine or anybody else’s. They begin with the leakage of tap in the kitchen sink, but don’t be a fool to believe that it is going to end there. Alas! It is just the beginning. Suddenly the subject gets switched over to the day you went home drunk with staggering legs. The 4 large Whiskies you had not just made you stagger, it in fact swept away her prestige. She strongly believes a teetotaler husband enhances her prestige in the neighborhood and among her relatives. She goes on to remind you with tears in her eyes how happily she was living in her parent’s house before marrying you. It goes on….. However, you are helpless, you cannot respond, and it is wise not to say anything at that point of time. I know you are angry, you feel like yelling at her. Yet you won’t act anything stupid. Better keep mum and suppress your genuine feelings. It is a bit frustrating. Yeah, the frustration thus begins at home.
Next you think of hiring an auto rickshaw to the nearest Metro station since you are late for office and cannot wait for the bus. You signal to many but none stops, they all race past you. At last one stops, you feel relieved, not knowing what is in store for you ahead. You are aware that all the electronic meters in the Autorickshws plying across Delhi do not work. And now the bargain begins, the driver asks for an amount that is double the actual cost. Ultimately you settle down for an amount between the actual and the amount demanded by the driver. You have almost reached the station, just few yards away, suddenly the driver turn the vehicle to the Gas filling station, he won’t listen to your plea or shouts to drive the rickshaw to the station first and then fill the gas while returning. Obviously, you cannot use vulgar languages, for you are supposed to be a gentleman, a civilized and cultured middle class man. So bear it. I know, inside you are burning with rage. Suppress it, there is no other way.

The announcement in the Metro Train says, next station is where you have to de-board the train. You could see long queues on the platform. The announcement asks you to stand at the centre of the door while de-boarding. Well said! But you face a jostling crowd rushing in to the train and in the course you are pushed back into the train again and again. And when you use force to extricate yourself out, you hear people shouting at you using unfriendly words. My advice is not to feel humiliated. It is part of the life, you are in Delhi.
Now you are walking down to the office with long strides to be in the office just in time. You were not expecting it and have no idea from where the car emerged. It just stops in front of you blocking your way forcing you to take a detour. The guy could have stopped the car at one or two meters away. It is enough reason to feel angry. But, no, it is a BMW! BMWs, I hear, offer great comforts to the occupants, but these are dangerous machines for the people walking on the street. So to be on the safer side, do not raise any objection to the guy sitting behind the wheel.
You feel relaxed in your chamber after exchanging greetings and pleasantries with your colleagues in the office. After a cup of hot coffee, it is time for the staff meeting. The ‘Boss’ is furious and he shouts at you in front of all other staff. You are quite convinced that you are being blamed for something you are not responsible for. No, no, no, you should not at all try to defend your case. You see, bosses are bosses. Bosses are a class apart. They are destined to be embodiment of all virtues, epitome of knowledge and repository of all information in the universe. So, now my dear chap, you change that grim face and say ‘yes boss’ cheerfully. That’s it boy; you are brilliant.
Your landline phone is ringing relentlessly and you rush to the room to pick up the receiver. The person on the other end asks ‘who are you talking?’ Now do not feel bewildered. It is quite common in Delhi. You might feel it as if someone intrudes into your house and asks you ‘who you are?’ Forget it, just tell the person you are so and so and how can I help you. You may face such odd situations at various other places too, be it in a wine shop or a pan shop, the salesman at the counter might look the other way talking to his friend standing besides ignoring you altogether.
Yes friends, I know what I have written above is not about something new. You all knew it from your own experiences. But what I suggest you to is, to count such incidents you faced in a particular day. It would be interesting and funny and at the end of the day you would feel relaxed.


  1. The Mirror Of an Ordinary Man...

  2. its all about the day to day experience and this article describes the real picture of aam aadmi. NICE ONE.

  3. Frustration – burn it out and relax

    It was a good piece of food for thought by Sh. T.K. Hansan portraying the sad state of affairs in our life.

    But is it really logical to accept the things as it comes without any change of attitude or just accept the things without any resistance or response? I really doubt. I recollect the novel my famous Malayalam novelist Anand titled ‘Govardhanante Yathrakal” in which one government servant named Kundan just lives his life suppressing all his ill-feelings and discomfort throughout his life. A reader after reading the novel would curse how a human being could be like him!

    Once I was walking on the roads with one of my friends. Suddenly a cyclist just took a wrong turn and hit my friend. In a flash of a second he slapped on the face of the cyclist scolding him about his rash drive. The cyclist immediately turned towards him and said that it happened unintentionally and unexpectedly. My friend responded back that he too slapped him as an immediate reflex action. Yes, I liked this act of retaliation. Don’t suppress your frustration and ignore thinking that this is the fate of a pedestrian; whether it’s a BMW or a motor bike… just act when you have to act.

    It is a fact, that most of the ladies, doesn’t like ‘others to know’ that her husband enjoys some alcohol. Yes, mainly because, if others got to know about it that may affect her social status. It forces her to nag you like anything, cursing you whenever she gets chance, and keep on murmuring throughout till her frustration burns up. It is truly frustrating, but how can we simply swallow all and keep mum? I won’t say that we should ‘risk’ ourselves by educating her, but of course we can try a bit to console her when your turn comes, though you preferred to be mum then. An intelligent, unintentional counseling might help this cause, I believe.

    It is not uncommon in Delhi that people daily quarrel with auto-drivers on account of not ready to travel the desired destinations or overcharging. Yes, many people do respond back strongly and, I believe, that has an effect on the mind set of autos too. My experience shows, that many of the scooterwallahs have started running the meters as soon as you board the auto without any argument. It is a positive change. But this is yet to be a practice in remote areas. This can be changed only after frequent efforts.

    In general, I would say ‘try to change the system, or the system will change you altogether’. So don’t give up; charge your self. History is there to support you. Even efforts from minority can bring up phenomenal changes in the society.

    So. Enjoy the harassment by the bosses, rickshawdrivers, or nagging from your wife but never lose any chance to retaliate. I am sure victory is ours.

    And never get scared, to receive the sunset with a couple of drinks. However, this is also another way to burn out frustration!!



  4. Good observation and excellent narration. It true happenings of things in everybody's life in Delhi. This article will be remembered every day by me for I too face such situations in my daily life.

  5. Its an excellent narration of ones feelings .